It's been one of those days. If you know what I am talking about. One of those days where I wish I was anywhere else but where I was. I actually wanted to be at a job. Doing stuff that adults do. Not trying for an hour and a half to put a baby down for a nap. Not slouching over all day long so my baby can get lots of exercise practicing walking around. Not waiting until 1:00pm to even start my day. Not cleaning a toilet while trying to entertain a baby that would not nap.
I wanted to be at a real desk. Wearing real work clothes. And lipstick. And talking on the phone having a real conversation. And feeling like I was accomplishing something.
It was a hard day. I cried. A lot. I felt stressed and overwhelmed and that where-is-my-life-going confusion.
But now the day is done. We had friends over for dinner. Actually, they brought us dinner. We drank some lovely wine. Had good conversation. And the baby went to sleep early.
Now I sit in the stillness. I hear the crickets outside. The hum of our fan in the dining room. And nothing else. It is peaceful. It is where I belong.
I realize I was exactly where I should have been today. Being a mother. A wife. A friend.